Grateful and Capable - by Caitlin Meath
April 1, 2020
When we are left with what appears to be “nothing” and things are “being taken from us” – what in fact are we left with? Do not stay in self-pity for too long. THAT is where the opportunity and lessons are. There is so much to be grateful for, we must get out of our own way to see it. God has me right where he wants me. He has carried me this far and has no intention of leaving me now. God is bigger than all that is occurring right now.
Each day is NOT about me. That is so freeing – give it a try. Through it all, these things I have learned:
I have let go of expectations and outcomes.
I am recognizing what I do have control of and what I don’t. I am coming to terms with and reaching a level of acceptance for the things I cannot control (which is quite a bit, and that is OK). Most things aren’t going to go my way.
At the end of the day, the way I treat others is what matters.
I am realizing that (at my core) my inner peace is of the utmost importance and I am OK. I am whole.
The external world will always be changing. That is a fact.
I am finding what feeds my soul – the outdoors, meditation, prayer, Zoom meetings with fellowship, eating well, taking a moment to truly acknowledge my daughter, being present, slowing down.
I am not above or beneath anyone. When I allow this to be truth, I live in a much nicer calm and can actually think of others and not just myself. Too much right now is all about ME as I am fearful and full of egoism.
When in doubt, reaching out to someone offers so much clarity and removes that bondage to self.
I have an opportunity to apply the 12 STEPS I have been taught to my daily living and see that they genuinely work.
Solutions are real. They exist.
Staying away from too much about the media or headlines is necessary.
Going to bed and getting sleep help.
Humility is powerful.
Acknowledging that the disease wants me isolated, wants me to feel alone in the world and wants me dead. I do not drink or use NO MATTER WHAT.
It is OK to feel emotions (to be angry, sad, confused etc). That does not mean I am failing or spiritually bankrupt.
Gratitude is explosive and matters.
Honesty sets you free.
Accepting others exactly where they are at, “But for the grace of God go I...”
A sense of security is important to me.
Emotional sobriety is important to me.
Faith must exist to override fear.
I do NOT have all the answers, no one does. Listening to each other is necessary.
I am grateful for my AA sponsor.
This too shall pass.
I have a silent disease trying to kill me and have had it my whole life. I am capable of so much more than what my disease presents.